Continuing in my reading of The Message of Hope with the folks at Gethsemane, I wrote a reflection for our Facebook group on Friday that now has an interesting bookend with the one I wrote today:
From Friday, April 27:
Read today where Peter says he's ready to die with Jesus, but a few verses later he can't even stay awake with him. I'm hearing in that a caution not to over promise, either to God or to myself, things I may not be able to follow through on. I'm not Jesus, I'm not even Superman, and thankfully one Messiah turns out to be quite sufficient for the world. I think this is also why I like the story of the loaves and fishes... where the little boy offers up what little he has to feed the thousands. Sometimes I feel like all I've got to offer is a loaf and a fish, but that's okay. My job is just to offer what I've got. It's up to Jesus to multiply it and make it into enough.Read today where Peter says he's ready to die with Jesus, but a few verses later he can't even stay awake with him. I'm hearing in that a caution not to over promise, either to God or to myself, things I may not be able to follow through on. I'm not Jesus, I'm not even Superman, and thankfully one Messiah turns out to be quite sufficient for the world. I think this is also why I like the story of the loaves and fishes... where the little boy offers up what little he has to feed the thousands. Sometimes I feel like all I've got to offer is a loaf and a fish, but that's okay. My job is just to offer what I've got. It's up to Jesus to multiply it and make it into enough.
From Monday, April 30:
In my post on Friday I was connecting with a "who I am not" idea: I am not the Messiah, not even Superman. Today I was struck by the exchange between Jesus and Pilate in Mark 14 (top of p. 64). "Are you the Messiah...?" Pilate asks; "Yes, I am..." Jesus replies. That's a "who I am" moment, very different from the "who I am not" perspective from Friday. I think both ways are useful in dealing with difficult situations, but it strikes me that the "who I am not" approach is kind of like playing defense. In response to external challenges and demands that feel too much for me, I push back against unreasonable expectations. But the "who I am" approach is more like offense. I take the initiative by claiming a clear identity that external challenges can't begin to threaten. In the first, my attention is "out there" but in the second, it's "in here." Rather than starting out in the challenging, task-and-demand-filled world and then retreating into myself for safety and to do what I can, I can start in the security of who the Lord tells me I am, and then move out from there into the world to be who I am.
So. Who am I? I am a Son of the King. Nothing can change that. Regardless of what I do or don't get done today, that is who I get to be. That's the calm in the storm; the eye of identity in the hurricane of task.
A record of my journeys and conversations as I explore my life of faith, and the life of the Church, outside of conventional congregations.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
The God who Listens
Continuing with the Bible reading journey at Gethsemane using Peterson's The Message of Hope... here's my reflection for today:
The story from Mark 9 (pages 37-39) where Jesus heals a father's son is one of the most meaningful stories in the Bible for me. I've wrestled with my emotions many times in my life (and I thank God for the gift of medication to help with that) so the way that Jesus relates to the *father* in this story has always been big for me. There's a point in the story where everything has come to a head: a huge crowd is getting even bigger, religious leaders are going after the disciples who are distressed because they haven't been able to help the boy, and the boy himself is flung to the grown in front of everyone in a dramatic seizure/demonic attack. In that moment, Jesus turns to the father of the boy and says... "How long has he been this way?" You can just hear the years of sorrow pour out of this man as he answers... "Oh, it's been going on ever since he was a child... and sometimes it's been like this.... and other times its been like this..." It's just astonishing. Jesus makes everyone wait - including the boy writhing on the ground! - so that this dad can share his heart while Jesus just stands there and listens. That poor guy's feelings *matter* that much to Jesus. It almost feels like there are two healings here... one for the father and one for his son. (Similar to the incredible story in Mark 5 where Jesus is interrupted by a woman needing healing while he's on his way to heal a little girl!) But for me, it's just this powerful witness that feelings - my feelings - really matter to God. So much so that there are times when other things - really, really important things - need to take a back seat for a while so that I can simply share my heart with the Lord who really, really listens.
The story from Mark 9 (pages 37-39) where Jesus heals a father's son is one of the most meaningful stories in the Bible for me. I've wrestled with my emotions many times in my life (and I thank God for the gift of medication to help with that) so the way that Jesus relates to the *father* in this story has always been big for me. There's a point in the story where everything has come to a head: a huge crowd is getting even bigger, religious leaders are going after the disciples who are distressed because they haven't been able to help the boy, and the boy himself is flung to the grown in front of everyone in a dramatic seizure/demonic attack. In that moment, Jesus turns to the father of the boy and says... "How long has he been this way?" You can just hear the years of sorrow pour out of this man as he answers... "Oh, it's been going on ever since he was a child... and sometimes it's been like this.... and other times its been like this..." It's just astonishing. Jesus makes everyone wait - including the boy writhing on the ground! - so that this dad can share his heart while Jesus just stands there and listens. That poor guy's feelings *matter* that much to Jesus. It almost feels like there are two healings here... one for the father and one for his son. (Similar to the incredible story in Mark 5 where Jesus is interrupted by a woman needing healing while he's on his way to heal a little girl!) But for me, it's just this powerful witness that feelings - my feelings - really matter to God. So much so that there are times when other things - really, really important things - need to take a back seat for a while so that I can simply share my heart with the Lord who really, really listens.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
(im)Patience
The reading for today included parts of Mark chapter 4 with two stories about sowing seeds. Here's my reflection on that:
Today's reading makes me think about how patient Jesus is and how he doesn't expect everything to work every time. Tons of seed scattered never amounts to anything and when it does it takes time. In contrast, I keep wanting to think that "surely everyone will respond enthusiastically to my latest, greatest church thing and congregational life will be transformed overnight!" Yeah, not so much. I too am a product of my "right now" culture. I even expect myself to change overnight! (Reminds me of a favorite old one-liner; "I once knew a woman who was so impatient that she put her instant breakfast in the microwave oven and turned back time.") How will I be different today? Obviously, I'll just be more patient. IMMEDIATELY.
Today's reading makes me think about how patient Jesus is and how he doesn't expect everything to work every time. Tons of seed scattered never amounts to anything and when it does it takes time. In contrast, I keep wanting to think that "surely everyone will respond enthusiastically to my latest, greatest church thing and congregational life will be transformed overnight!" Yeah, not so much. I too am a product of my "right now" culture. I even expect myself to change overnight! (Reminds me of a favorite old one-liner; "I once knew a woman who was so impatient that she put her instant breakfast in the microwave oven and turned back time.") How will I be different today? Obviously, I'll just be more patient. IMMEDIATELY.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Caught in your own nets?
(Yes, I totally stole that second one from Wayne Cordeiro's wonderful Life Journal resource.)
Along with the reading plan, we've set up ways for people to connect for conversation, including a FaceBook page, and while I'm not very disciplined about writing daily reflections (or monthly blog posts for that matter!) I did have something to share today and thought I'd post it here as well. The reading covered about the first half of Mark Chapter 1.
What does this tell me about Jesus? That he's an intervener. If John is like thunder in the desert, then Jesus is like lightning. He flashes into the scene and makes stuff happen. Like with the guys who were just fishing and doing their regular work. Jesus shows up and WHAM! Now they are off on a whole new thing.
How will I be different? "Change your life" sounds good today. Last week I did the funeral for Joan Will & heard family stories about her playful, lightheartedness. More of that would be a good change for me. This may require walking away from some nets that want to insist that I stay focused on the tasks in front of me. We'll see how that goes. Fish aren't the only ones who can get caught in the nets.
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